Typhoon Ondoy Part 1
October 26, 2009
It has been quite a while since Ondoy has passed but it seems that the umpleasant memories I had with Ondoy will never go away. I have tried so many times to make a blog about this but I failed… until this day when I was able to muster all the courage I have to retell the story…Sept 26, 2009
7:30 am
I just got at the tricycle area of St Joseph, needless to say I have to take a trike because i was anticipating the flooded part at the subdivision entrance. The drainage was bad so a little rain gets the area flooded. When I got to our house, I was a little bit surprised because there was water on the street adjacent to Leo. It never happened before. That day I was rushing home because I was supposed to join some colleagues and friends for a team bonding in Angono along with my son Bobet. Due to the weather though I cancelled my plans to join them. I couldn’t risk taking Bobet out at such a feisty weather.
8:00 am Jae and I had breakfast and chatted along. We couldn’t help but notice the abnormal condition of the water on the road. We decided to haul those important things upstairs. We took those kids things first. Then jae brough the TV set upstairs, the computer and we decided to haul the ref into an elevated place.
9:30 am Jae started cleaning the bottles of the kids assuming that the water might get into our house and we wont be able to come down. Ayn, our shobe is still playing at the matress on our floor. The water then got into our house. I readily snatched Ayn and brought them up along with Tyke and bobet. It was then that we decided to turn off the main switch of our electricity. We also decided to bring the fridge to the second floor. How we did it? we had no idea, but yup we were able to bring the ref into safety.
10:00am the water is already knee deep inside the house and it is still rising. We forgot to bring the computer table upstairs as well as the oven toaster… and my clothes that are on the laundry basket… grrrr…
11:00 The water inside our house was already on the 6th step of the stairs. We had 11 steps and that 6th step means Jae’s chest. He is 6 ft tall, so that means the kids are completely locked upstairs for their safety.
11:30 am I peered out of our terrace on the second floor to check out the condition outside… our neighbors ask for help if they could get refuge from our house. Take note, we barely know them… wrong… I don’t even know them well except from Ate Glo who owned that sari sari store across our house. But as for the rest of them I do not know them. Nonetheless we let them in. We housed 4 different families with lots of kids. We had 13 kids in the house apart from my own 3 kids.
12 noon The water continued to rise and outside, the water is at 6 ft deep. Those strong men outside tied ropes so they wont be crashed by rushing waves. Water turns even more brownish and its really yucky with all those garbages floating in the water. The first floor of our house looks like a pool of contaminated water with empty cans of milk floating all over as well as the washing machine.
We were prompted to stay at the second floor for the rest of the day. Apart from the fact that the water is dirty, you will not be able to get out of the house because the water is at 6 ft deep, unless you’re trying to commit suicide.
As of the moment I am tired.. so watch out for my next posts for the succeeding events after the first day of Typhoon Ondoy….
Heads up on Forigners, Most Filipino Motorists are Ignorant on Pedestrian Lanes
May 17, 2009
Crazy, that instead of writing my article that I have to submit by 1 am tomorrow, here I am doing my blog entry. Well, I guess, I’m about to go ranting again, and to think that I have already written about this before. PEDESTRIAN LANES. During the past few days, Jae and I have been having discussion about this matter. We were both wondering if the Philippines have a different definition for pedestrian lanes. Funny thing though is, we have similar definition of pedestrian lanes as to that of the universal high way code. Take a look at the definition provided by the Land Transportation Office (LTO) and it says that:
PEDESTRIAN SIGNALS Motorists should be aware of pedestrian signal indications. They are used to control pedestrian traffic at intersections where there is conflict between vehicle and pedestrian movement. While these pedestrians are crossing the roadway, they have the right-of-way over all vehicles. A pedestrian facing the green walk signal may proceed across the roadway in the direction of the signal. A pedestrian facing a steady flashing “Don’t Walk” signal should not start to cross the roadway. If a pedestrian has entered the roadway on the “walk” signal and the “Don’t Walk” signal appears, he/she should proceed as quickly as possible to a safe area. While doing this, pedestrians still have the right of way over vehicles. Also a pedestrian should not cross the roadway when vehicular traffic has flashing green signal, unless he/she is facing a “Walk” signal.
Okay, going back, the reason why I have yet to make another article about this is because, it seems that our motorists and traffic enforcers alike are ignorant of this fact.
About two weeks ago, Jae almost got into a fight with a stupid motorist. My fault is that I wasn’t able to get the freaking plate number of the stupid van. We have to cross the street to get to the office. The good thing is that there is a pedestrian lane there and as such we always use the zebra lanes whenever crossing the street, as it is intended for pedestrians and for our own safety. Well when we were around two feet away from the building, which means we were almost at the end of the pedestrian lane, this stupid driver came careening, honking malevolently at us. Indeed blowing his horn as if there was an emergency. Jesus Christ! Knowing our rights, of course we didn’t budge, after all, vehicles SHOULD SLOW DOWN whenever they approach pedestrian lanes. Well, the stupid driver glared at us, and Jae glared back to him, not just that he pointed his forefinger on his temple, telling the driver to use his head or brains, if he had any, which I doubt because of the circumstances. Gee, I thought it would end there, the stupid driver still thought that we were the ones at fault, so what he did was he slowly pulled over while giving us the dirty finger hoping that we’d pick fight with him. Had I not been there, knowing Jaean, I know that he would indeed pick fight with him, hoping to instill some senses into the baboon driver who is three times bigger than him. I know it would be futile though, as the driver is definitely ignorant of what pedestrian lanes are for.
Now at this very moment while doing some research about pedestrian lanes I encounter a blog by some moron who calls pedestrians stupid. I don’t want to repost or even copy a part of his blog as there may be legal implications. I have to make some research first if it would be possible for me to cite his domain for this purpose.
Well, to those foreigners who are planning to visit the Philippines, make a mental note that most Filipino motorists are morons and they don’t know what pedestrian lanes are for. Maybe for them, it was just a design painted on the road so there would be change on scenery. Just a piece of pie though, be extra careful, most Filipino motorists are morons! It’s a fact!
Grand Laziness Day!!!
January 17, 2009Bored… dead bored… I’m here at work yet my mind is drifting everywhere else… hehehe no place nor no one in particular to think about… just feeling extremely lazy… not even in the mood to send e mail to my clients, hehehe now, this is what you call grand laziness day for me…. Here I am munching on Piatos and Pancit malabon with a glass of cold iced tea straight from the vendo machine… Well my station looks like , I don’t know, food is scattered and so are my things, no wonder my mind is as tattered!! hehehe…
Just seen Jayson passed by my station, thanks dude, for giving way on my vacation leave on the 23rd. He’s got the approval and needless to say mine was not granted and yet he gave his slot to mine…. hehehe thanks dude. I owe you munchkins… hehehe.
Can’t wait to have lunch…. hmmm what a week ender, a treat from Erna hehehe 2pcs fully loaded original recipe chicken with macaroni salad and a large Montain dew to gulp it… wooohhhh not to forget the brownies, tooo… yumyumyumyum…
Gosh, even my brains wont work… Gee has my brain cells gone through temporary paralysis… can’t even think of my next words to write… I’ll cut this off for now, I’ll just resume when my brains function normally once again. Isn’t it lunch yet?
Not yet, 34 minutes to go…. I’ll try to work… sighhhhh… as if I could!
Filipinos on Pedestrian Lanes!
| I have planned to write about this a long time ago, unfortunately though, either my mind would go blank or I simply wont have time…Finally though, I was able to bring it to the finish line. Before I decided to have this article published, I did some research as to what the heck really does PEDESTRIAN LANES mean. According to Merriam Webster: (Noun) Wikipedia English - The Free Encyclopedia Okay, so I guess I have different sources yet same meaning. Clear enough to understand that PEDESTRIAN CROSSING gave the pedestrians the right of way. Take note PEDESTRIANS and not motorists or cab drivers nor jeepney drivers and neither those moronic yuppies driving their SUV’s and yet ignorant of universal traffic rules. Now let’s get to the meaning of PEDESTRIANS. It means travelling on foot. Yup you read it right, surf the freaking internet, browse Mr. Webster or Wikipedia, it means, TRAVELLERS ON FOOT. Translation? Those who don’t have cars, tricycle, bicycle or aren’t behind any type of steering wheels. In short those who use their feet as means of travelling. Clear enough? You see, I have always been annoyed by those drivers, be it learned or the moronic jeepney drivers, whenever I encountered them along pedestrian crossing. Either, they would try to gain speed just to beat the pedestrians or they would blow their freaking horn as if an emergency is going on. Sad to say this incident is a recurring event in the Philippines. For godsake! Several instances had me almost lose my temper. Let’s take some of the perilous encounters that I had! Let’s start with the pedestrian crossing nearest to my place. I live in St. Joseph, Cainta Rizal, and every morning I have to battle with these dimuits. What’s even more ironic is the fact that there are two police stations in this place. The Pasig Police Station along Ortigas Avenue Extension and the Cainta Police Precint along St. Joseph Drive. These two stations are just across each other. Almost facing each other. Add the fact that there ARE MMDAS on the road, and yet these morons have these routine every freaking day! Mind you, I am not just referring to those illiterate and uneducated stinking jeepney and bus drivers but those who are wearing bows and ties, some professionals yet uneducated individuals. Haaaayyyy Another encounter I would never forget is when Jae and I were about to report for work in Ortigas, while we were crossing the pedestrian lane along ADB Avenue in Ortigas Center. For those who aren’t familiar with Ortigas Center, it happens to be the business capital of Pasig City. Well, as we are about to cross along with a foreigner, a taxi came careening while honking, almost hitting the said foreigner. The foreigner glared and shouted at the maniacal driver who didn’t give a damn. The foreigner pointed the pedestrian lane. God, I was so ashamed at that time, so ashamed that I am a Filipino. I wish I wasn’t. I was just wondering how these type of people obtained their driver’s license…. Oh, I shouldn’t have asked that because I knew the answer quite well. Are you aware that just by paying 1,500 pesos(philippine) you can get a license? You need not to take the exam and you don’t even need to submit urine specimen. LTO, would you want to deny this allegation? Okay back to the pedestrian crossing incident, one more notable place and probably known not just by Filipinos but as well as outside the country… who wouldn’t be familiar with Makati City, Philippines? Ayala Avenue is definitely familiar to almost all of us, yet in the country’s business capital it’s sad to say that drivers here as well are not familiar as to what pedestrian lanes are for. Even those yuppies and old professionals as well, not to mention those who are in SUV’s, I can’t believe why these people can’t spare like a couple of minutes to give way to pedestrians…. Haaay And another experience, this isn’t mine though… this is a first hand experience of an Englishman… This is an entry posted by him on take note…. FORUM.GOV.PH. Go through his experience, here is it I got it just the way he published it.
| |||
Can anyone tell me why your government spends money painting pedestrian crossings on the road in case you wonder what is a pedestrian crossing it is the black and white strips that you see painted going across the road, in the rest of the world it means pedestrians have right of way, in other words traffic have to stop to let people cross in the Philippines it seems to mean nothing at all. In my many visits to your country I can say I have never seen a driver that has stopped at one, |
I’m keeping my fingers crossed that one day our law makers would probably be hit by these moronic drivers while traversing through the pedestrian lanes… and maybe that would be the day that they’ll come to their senses.
I would like to aknowledge http://forum.gov.ph, this is where I got the reaction of the Englishman’s experience and Sire if I could send you an e-mail of gratitude I would, unfortunately I haven’t got any information about you… but my sincerest thanks. Thank you for posting your experience. I just hope this will be an eye opener to my apathetic countrymen and women.
This blog is also for Jaean who right from the start has urged me to write something about this. Rest assured lots of related articles will follow.
Choices!
October 9, 2008Funny, how coincidences happen… I’ve been actually feeling cross as some things have actually gone out of their places, then out of the blue while blog hopping I was able to come across an entry about choices….
True enough lots of choices have been laid down before us… Choices made us of who we are now. Lots of times I have been confronted with choices and some of them have brought me both good and not so good outcomes. There were also times when I regretted those choices I have made, when i wished for time be turned back…
My Dad has always told me, that I have to be extra careful when I make choices, because it is the out come that I have to deal with. Nature’s law of motion of course, for every action, there is a reaction.
At the moment, I was forced to make a choice of momentary status quo, sad to say because there are people who depend on me whom I can’t let down, because they are yet incapable of taking care of themselves and I brought them here. I’m keeping my spirits intact inspite and despite of the tumultuos situation here in the office.
I know at this point of time I’m making the right choice, it is not easy, in fact I have to drag every vein in my body just to be in an accepted state get up! Haayy I know soon this will be over and I that’s the silver lining I’m holding on to.
Indeed it’s all about choices…
Teka nga muna sino ba si CHOICES? Ah ewan!
Unending….
It should have been the least if not, NOT at all my problem. It’s tiring too, doing blogs and your whining about thesame old thing. Haaay, but here I am again confronted with this matter….. ranting about same old shit! Same issues from work… loads that should not be our concern were passed on to us, same practices that up to now remain uncorrected…. haaay I guess the complaints would till this space will be totally filled up, worst the space may not even suffice and yet the ranting wont still end… And though I know that this problem is unending I might as well end up my log for this rant so I may be able to attend to other matters worth writing about!
Jammed thoughts….
October 3, 2008I can’t help but smile despite the approaching storm that I have to face by the end of the day… actually it is the start of the day since it would be around 5:30 am butsince that would be the end of my shift… it commences the day for me as well… hehehe
Thank’s God, and to all the forces of the universe who convenes with the truth my sincerest gratitude.
Haay … the flow of my thoughts suddenly stops…. hehehe pause for the mean time.
Incomplete….
October 2, 2008To where the roads are leading
Still that is not known to me
To where I am going
That I am not sure of
To everything that I have
gone through
I don’t know what I haven’t been
into yet
The sun shines brightly
And it was so bright,it blinds me
And it was so hot, I got burnt
Astrayed as before, now I’m even
more lost
Everything is thesame, yet so unfamiliar
Across the horizons
I’ve heard a quaint cry
Putting me in some trance
But as to what it was saying
I haven’t had a clue…
Back to Grail hunting Madness!
Confusing, it looks like the answers are always sugar coated with another question… As if it’s a clue to another clue to another clue…
Funny cause it has been a while since I ve meddled with the holy grail and the monumental and mind twirling history of the masonry. Now I’m back on my shoes, trailing or rather here I am again hoping to finally stumble something that would be of value…. Weeeeh… This is amongst the times when I wish that I’d be a millionaire…. Grrr…
To anyone who has something concrete or anything valuable related to grail hunting and the masonry, I appeal to you guys and gals that may you be kindhearted enough to send me some information…. I would really appreciate it and you may send it at fierylarkspur@gmail.com. I would really appreciate all the information and help you can give me.
What if everything starts to fall apart?
September 24, 2008Half of the shift has just been consumed and so is my energy. I’m really sick at the moment, my head is terribly aching, all my joints and spines feel like breaking off…. I’ve got a runny nose, looks like all the symptoms of flu is on the go.
I’m really a bit exhausted, and it appears like all aspects of my life are falling apart. career wise, uhhgg, wait career am I talking about? I mean the job I’ve got right now is geee indescribable… guess I’m lost for words now… oh maybe the nearest thing I could say is A FREAKING NIGHTMARE!!! Grrr… I really can’t wait to get out of the ship…. patience my dear… less than a month to go and puuuuf…. I can fade away from here. So much for my rants about this job… much space has been taken for several non sense blogs I’ve done!!!
My personal life is also falling apart, looks like nothing is actually in place. At this moment I am being trapped in a dilemna of figuring out what to do. I really don’t want to pursue this, (at this point of time I am not yet that ready to go through this in detail… as to what this is) I just wanna jot down my thoughts… I really don’t want to go through this again, it’s out of my plans and I just don’t want it! I don’t want to go through those rigorous and agonizing months again add the the fact the burden on our finances which is already on a not so great status!!
Almost three more hours to go add the thirty minute unpaid mandatory over time… Talk about exploitation… Haaay couldn’t really wait to get off the ship!
Acquire Asia Pacific definitely ONE HELL OF A MISTAKE!!!
September 12, 2008As time passes by, the more that I am convinced that I am really in the wrong nest… Haaay is that really how the way things go? As long as you know that you can get away with it, just do it? I dont think I would be able to swallow that idea. Not that I am trying to be miss goody good shoes, it’s just that when it comes to work my principles just wont bend. I’d rather not put numbers knowing quite well that I have obtained it ‘ILLEGALLY’. What’s even more frustrating is the fact that this issue of importing leads have already been brought to the attention of the sales manager and yet no appropriate measures have been takenand worse from what I’ve learned, the deeds has been with her consent! For Christ sake! I’d like to think that this is being consented. Haaay talk about getting motivated of working really well. Forget it! Yup, it’s just that definitely I DO NOT belong here.
Then it’s pack up time, like what my daughter sings whenever it’s time to go home, “now its time to pack away, pack away”. Cause I know if I’m going to stay longer all my blogs would definitely be not good. cause there wont be anything good to say. You’d feel thesame if you are on my shoes…. talk about inconsistencies, misleading,unprofessionalism, gee ask me anything about that you’ll surely find that in this company. Oh, not to mention the extreme exploitation to the employees. Doing over time with out pay and my dear it is a forced over time, not to mention the breaks that are being depleted because to their fucking system break downs and ta ta te a ta of bull shits and moronic talks… grrr I don’t know how long will I ever be able to keep my composure. Okay let’s drop the name of the company. It’s Acquire Asia Pacific located at the World Wide Corporate Center. And you know what’s funny? One of the company values that they claim they have is “HONESTY IS THE ONLY POLICY!” Now that’s another fucking bull shit! Pardon my french, but I’m really on the zennith of my annoyance. Yup stupid of me because I’m still here… Well it won’t be long because I’m just waiting for the payday to come. After that I’ll freaking abandon ship.
Warning to everyone who would wish to be a part of this company, beware of the promises they made because they are surely bound to be broken, most specially if you will be assigned on Local.com account.
one long sigh… haaay….
September 11, 2008Still wondering… hehe been stuck in this stage for quite sometime. I just hope that our endeavor later on will be fruitful cause I really wanna get out of this hole. The kitchen is getting too hot for me and I’m getting burned.
There’s something I wanna write about, the ‘laissez faire’ and Das Kapital but my ideas are some what scattered at the moment… Guess I have to make a rough draft just to present objectively.
Haaay hehehe can I not go to work anymore? You know just eat, sleep, watch tv, play with Tyke and Bobet and never run out of money? Hehehe
Proud Bicolana!!!
September 9, 2008
It has been quite sometime and I really miss this place… Yup it’s definitely Mayon Volcano.
You see I am a proud Bicolana, I grew up in Libon, a quiet little town in Albay where you can admire the beauty of this volcano. The beauty that it exudes that never fails to relieve the stress that I feel, just by staring at it.
In times of its serenity, you can see its perfect cone radiating its beauty, a grayish smoke that comes out of its crater, and yet, even in its turmoil, believe it or not, Mayon still hasn’t failed to shine… to be perfectly honest, watching from afar, and disregarding the damages that it may cause as its mouth throw out an infernal fire, along with the lava, Mayon is still stunningly beautiful. Most of the people who have seen this will agree with me. Take a look at this image that I’ve found, see how beautiful it is inspite of its rage! 
Maybe indeed this represents a real bicolana, quiet by nature yet deep with in it holds a fire hotter and deadlier than hell itself.
I am and I will always be a proud bicolana. Oragon ako? Yup indeed both in a positive and negative way depending on what the situation is asking from me.
Moving on!!!
What a manic Monday…. Grrr gracious goodness just got here at work. I’m dead wet and I’m cold and really hungry and I have a real bad tummy ache! Huhuhuhu, have we got typhoon on the way?
Gee, had it not been for the time sheet I would rather sign a DPF. Grrr, well looks like all the answers to my questions have been laid down to me in a platter! Need to ask more Ane? I guess not!
Yup so here we go talk about, being ready about the turns that we have to make. At last I am no longer at the crossroads. For the first time I’ve never felt so sure until now. And it really feels good, yup most specially if nothing will gonna hold you back! Moving on and on…. hehehe just feel relieved!
So here we go…. on to the next journey!
Hala kakaiba daw ako!
September 6, 2008Still wondering
Worrying
Thinking
Dazed
Bothered
Irate
Pissed
Feels like exploding
Dead bored
….and here is where I end up.I just hope I can figure a way how to post this here in my blog site. This personality test has been sent by Ella, my freako friend. hehehe love you Elai.
Akalain mo, my Personality Type is VERY RARE!Nyak Nyak Ano kaya yun? Am I abnormal or an alien? Weeeh.. Just to share, here’s what it says!
Your Personality is Very Rare (ESTP) 
Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 3% of all women and 6% of all men
You are Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Perceiving.
One last hurdle….
Barely breathing… sigh…
Guess not sure whether to go on
or take a completely different route… Ano nga ba? Ewan siguro nga distorted talaga takbo ng utak ko.
I’m here at my work station! San pa nga ba ako dapat? Yesterday night I was absent accompanied Jae to the hospital, yup after a week of pushing himself to work it paid off. He was diagnosed with bronchitis and asthma… hay ang tigas kasi ng ulo. What’s new?
Anyway, yup still into a pit of labyrinth of confusion… but at least I’ve came up with a decision already. Haaay, yup it was my fault as well kasi I shouldn’t have taken it in the first place kasi sobrang dehado talaga. Well, I just took some chances, sadly though it directed me to the wrong path. Well, at least lesson learned!
Anyway, patience Ane, just a little more time, it wont be too much. Bear with the situation, you’ll get through it! Hehehe and I am talking to myself, aren’t I?
A liitle more stretch Ane, and it will finally be over! Laugh it off!
Just Some Thoughts!!!
September 3, 2008Writing has always been my passion, though I guess most of the times I take it for granted. The funny thing is whenever I feel that the world is turning against me, I find myself taking shields in the comfort of writing.
I guess, there’s really nothing in particular I would wanna write today, just some scattered thoughts lingering in my not so distorted brain… hehehe
I guess this is what they call the early adulthood crisis, I mean the one that I am feeling right this moment. Haaay…guess there are just lots of things I wanna do, yet I just can’t, not because I don’t wanna do them rather situations just wont allow me to do it? I’m vague, am I not? Forgive me but as of the moment I can’t get into specifics, not in the mood to elaborate…. haaay (take a deep breath, sigh)
Same issues I’ve been dealing with and I still haven’t got them sorted out! Grrr
Well, I just hope something good will come up at the end of the day!
One Moment of Happiness!!
March 4, 2008“At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. It’s like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it’s not so important to be happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.” (-Meridith Blake- Grey’s Anatomy)
Isn’t it funny, you wake up each waking hour ( see not everyone sleeps at night) and you look forward that your day be filled with happiness, laughter and wish that the entire day become a wonderful one. And then reality kicks in… that you are not really okay, but then there is just this moment, that you cant help but be happy… and for that specific moment you remembered how to be happy once again, how to truly smile, and realize that just for that single moment, the desire of your heart ha been granted. I could not help but smile right now as I make this post, because it has really been a while since I have felt this joy. And for that moment I want to thank you, for showing me how it is to smile once again…
Yeah, for that alone I will be really grateful. Thank you for somehow taking the burdens out of my mind and for sharing and giving me happiness.
Baring Myself - The Prologue!
February 28, 2008If I believed in miracles….
I would like to believe… sana nga it’s real. They say that once something bads happen to you there is an opposite but equal reaction… siguro nga. I hope it’s true. If you have been frequenting my site you would know that for the past few days I’ve been in hazy mood. Yesterday, I was really in a bad mood and yup m really mad… hehehe Jaean sorry you know me naman, lately I no longer hide what I feel, if I am mad, I would show it, and yup I am still annoyed! No use hiding it, I wont bother, like what I’ve told you, now I’m ready to take a different path. I’m baring it all! The world will know, and I don’t care what other people may say. If others would give a damn then just let them be… we all have our own lives and any one can live it as he pleases, after all he will be the one to face the results of his choices.
Sabi nga ni Ella (hello sis, miss you and thank you so much for the support) she is one of my closest and childhood friends, BRING IT ON and BARE IT ALL! KEEP NO SECRETS, LIVE NO LIES OR PRETENTIONS!.. Yup, so people who would be visiting my site would probably anything and everything I am feeling or have felt or what I have gone through. I’m gonna be writing with anything and everything under the sun. From my personal life to my political views… practically just everything!
Haaay… and maybe I am really lucky today! Thank you so much… sana for the rest of the week na!
Asin mabalos po sa tao na naka pagpaulok sakuya asin nag parealize na there is so much more to look forward too asin dai na dapat tawanan ke pansin an sarong bagay na haluyon ng daing serbi!
Fate has indeed its twisted ways of making me smile and thank you so much, for making me realize it! I can never be grateful enough. Thank you…
Stop!
February 27, 2008
Stop! Yeah at this time all I want to do is make a complete stop. Put everything on hold, keep it frozen… as if I could. That’s the down side part of it, when you know you can’t and it is one variable out of your control. I’m just too exhausted, that somehow I wish I would just collapse and fade into oblivion. Physically, emotionally and mentally I’m totally exhausted. Since I could not take a full stop, I just want to run away. Run as far as I could. To the farthest ends of the universe, to totally lose anyone and everyone I know in sight. I know it was my own doing, it was my own decisions and indecisions that led me into whatever situation I am now. The choices that I’ve made back then has created the consequences that I am now facing. Someone help me out…. oh no I guess no one can pull me out of this darkness but me. If you ask me what my world is right now, yup it’s a total eclipse. In great vast of darkness that even the stars have refused to shine, a world where no light could ever penetrate. Total doom. I’m too tired, tired of trying to carry on, of being strong because I have to, knowing that there are people who depend on me, at this time I just want be totally nonchalant, unmindful and I just want to take a rest. No matter how hard I wish for those decisions to be undone, they never can be undone anymore. And as time pass me by I realized that indeed it was so childish of me to hang on those wishful thoughts. Now as I wade into this stage can I truly understand the meaning of being responsible to the decisions and choices I’ve made. My mom asked me to make a choice, not because she would want to spite me but because she wanted me to understand what accompanies those choices I’ve made. Indeed I have learned my lessons the hardest way. It was the must humbling experience I have gone through, or shall I say I am going through. What used to be a rose filled world I’m living turned into labyrinth of spirals sending me into swirls. There are decisions that you just can never undo and would leave permanent effects on us, and some time no matter how patient a person maybe you can push her to her limits and would cease to understand further. There are just some things and people whom we fail to appreciate simply because they are always around, and when asked to made choices, often we took them for granted, only to find out that the most priceless stone is right before your eyes, when they are totally gone. I’m sorry mom, I know at this time I am reaping the consequences of my actions. I have never imagined that it could get as terrible as this! Like what I have said earlier I am just too tired to carry on now, and I just want to go running back in the arms of my mom, of my grand mom. I know there are people depending on me, but I am just so tired…be it known that even the strongest gets tired and needs a rest… what more I am? I just want to go back to my comfort zone… yeah, I know it’s already taking its toll on me. Well now at least I’ve learned that not all people are good. I’ve learned how to rely mostly on myself, that there are people out there, waiting like vultures to devour you so you need to be on your guard. Indeed life, just when you’ve thought you have already learned a lot, it’s then that you will realize that you have only known so little!
